Three Little Letters

Yes, I’m talking about LDR’s. Long Distance Relationships.

I’ve been going back and forth on whether I wanted to talk about this here. It has become a huge part of my life in the past year and with Valentine’s Day right around the corner, I thought this would be the perfect time to bring up the topic.

If you’ve noticed I visit Grenada a LOT. I’ve never visited any tropical locations more than once so the fact that I’ve been back 3 times in 6 months is crazy. Well, I go back not for the beautiful beaches or peaceful island, but for someone 🙂

My boyfriend Jordan is currently living in Grenada (map here for everyone who went um where?) for Medical School.  We met about three years ago in college and we were lucky enough to be neighbors for two of those years. We graduated together last May, and in August he moved to St. George’s and I stayed in NJ.

To go from spending almost 24 hours a day together to only seeing each other for a few days, with months in between, has been a huge 180 in our relationship and to be honest, it sucks! But, over the past months we’ve been figuring out the best ways to make the most of this new lifestyle and I wanted to share them here for anyone who might be going through the same thing.

(at Jordan’s White Coat Ceremony at SGU in August)

Write letters– Not an email, not a long text, a paper letter. I find that I put more thought into something when I’m writing by hand. I’m able to express myself more clearly and remember silly details that I wouldn’t necessarily think of over a quick text. Plus, do you know anyone who doesn’t like getting mail!?  Maybe it’s just me, but I smile like a little kid every time I get something in the mail.

P.S. I’m obsessed with the cards at Urban Outfitters. I literally laugh out loud while I read them and rarely walk out of the store with less than five. They are so out of the box and seriously hilarious! Perfect for Valentine’s Day (whether you’re near or far).

(in Central Park summer 2015)

Take the time to focus on you– If you can’t be together to achieve your goals then you better work your butt off while you are apart! Use this time to focus on growing your own career or following a personal passion. For me, blogging has been the perfect outlet to channel my energy and time. When you subtract  how much time you would usually commit to being with your significant other (as negative as that sounds) you have a lot more time to focus on you. You might as well make the most of your situation, and keeping yourself busy certainly makes the time fly by!

(pit stop on our way to the Grand Canyon last January)

Make time & be present– This can be hard for anyone with a busy schedule, but make time when you are both free to sit down and actually talk or FaceTime. Stick to your schedule and eliminate the distractions. It might sound silly, but when you talk while walking to work or with your roommates in the room, you tend to share less.

(en route to watch a Liverpool game on New Year’s Eve)

Plan ahead– Luckily, we know this phase has a finite end in two years (with various breaks at Christmas and over the summer). It feels like forever, but in the mean time we try to take advantage of the time we are together. Whether that’s committing to binge watching an entire series on Netflix or booking a week- long getaway. We always plan our next excursion before the first one is over. Then, when we have to leave each other there is already something to look forward to!

(at MoMA on New Year’s Day this year)

Be honest– Well, this might seem obvious but at times I would hesitate to share good news, fun things I was doing, or even complain to Jordan because I felt like I was rubbing it in (he’s studying almost 90% of the day…every day). I quickly noticed a distance between us and realized I was going about it all wrong. You only know as much as you share so it’s best to be as open and honest as possible with each other.  If you’re having a shitty day, tell them! If you’re having an amazing day, tell them! It’s not a competition of who is more miserable, and while you might think a cookie cutter version of life will “protect” the other person, you’re really just creating distance in your relationship (and that is quite literally the last thing you need).

(on Magazine Beach in Grenada this week)

Do the most with what you have– Yes, seeing all of the Valentine’s Day posts next Tuesday is going to be a bummer, but being apart shouldn’t be a reason not to celebrate! Have a dinner date over FaceTime, plan your next visit together, or make fun of all the sappy messages, chocolate and roses on social media :p.  There are days when it’s hard to stay positive, but dwelling on what you don’t have isn’t going to make you feel any better. So put the negativity on hold and make the most with what you have!

……….

We had a great time together in Grenada this past week and tried to do our own “Valentine’s Day” celebration while we were together. I’ll be home tomorrow with lots to share with you guys!

Have a great rest of your week 🙂

*Melissa

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